Professional Poltergeist Practices Patrolling Phantoms
The Ghostbusters most famously stated that they weren’t afraid of no ghosts. But what use is that phrase in a world dictated by our contemporary Western ideals and philosophies, where ghosts have as little to fear as… an honest politician?
By that I mean ghosts don’t exist, as don’t honest politicians. Trust me, I have experience with local government. It’s all earmarking until the cows come home.
But what if I were to tell you, fair reader, that perhaps ghosts do exist? What if they walked amongst us every day, unseen, unobserved? What then?
Recently the Silvery Surveyor has been receiving leads (that is, I’ve finally remembered my Twitter password and I’ve been searching for the hashtag #interesting to pick up on any juicy news bits) and it has come to my attention that a professional ghost hunter, Susan Slaughter, is in our neighborhood.
Now what’s a ghost hunter doing here? Checking out affordable real estate? Sure, if that real estate is for the dead, those who have moved on from the world of the living to the world of someone’s owned home.
No, fair reader, it looks as though recent goings ons have attracted the attention of this Susan Slaughter, and I find myself asking me if I believe in ghosts (by the way, every time I end up asking myself anything, it turns into an incredibly interesting interview). And do you know what my answer is, fair reader?
A resounding, undeniable, unwavering:
There is no way to prove that ghosts exist. That this Susan Slaughter can speak to ghosts. As far as I’m concerned, this is all just falsehood and shennaniganery. If you see this Susan Slaughter, feel free to giver her a piece of my mind. Ghosts don’t exist. They’re not real. And we should all move our attention onto more pressing issues. Like whether or not the press should be exempt from parking tickets. I was covering a bake sale and all the spots were taken! Come on.